featherveins

my name is dena. this is a collection of things that i find beautiful or important. for more about me, visit my website: evolutionyou.net.

middle january

middle january. my heart is heavy. i don’t know how to dress anymore. the temperature swings between bitter cold and unseasonably warm. i wonder if i miss the snow. each day is imperceptibly sadder and warmer than the next. maybe that’s what life means. i drive to work. the memory of summer rushes me: humidity, mimosa tree, sweat, luminous fireflies in the sweet, grass, dark of night. driving now past the little lake. the water is frozen in places. a lacy white swan floats across the melt. when people are ready to, they change. they never do it before then. only a few clouds in the sky. sunlight pours in through my windshield. i’m always squinting. i wonder if i ever really forgave you. last night i dreamt that we were on a return flight from paris. i’d fallen asleep and woke only as the plane landed. it was raining. in the terminal the rain came right in through the roof as though it were a screen. i was bone-soaked and looking for you. even after i’ve driven long past the lonely swan i think of him. that’s how it is with me. a flat raccoon in the road can haunt me for a whole day. i wonder if i ever really forgave myself. luminous fireflies. sweat. mimosa tree.

  1. thedesertsoflove said: rushing water. feeling from this. wonderful, Dena.
  2. alinapleskova said: This is/you are so beautiful. I know the January feeling all too well. Let’s float on as best we can until spring. All my love.
  3. featherveins posted this