“When I am sixty-five, I plan to take my grandchildren to Yellowstone National Park. We will go out late at night under a full moon, and I will howl up a pack of wolves. Over a midnight snack, and perhaps a glass of fine red wine for Grandpa, I will tell my grandchildren about what it took to provide them with the opportunity for that experience, all the good people and friends that were involved, and all the funny and interesting stories that occurred before, during, and after my part had been played out. I’ll also remind them how their bloodline had some small part in restoring the immortal relationship between predator and prey in this special place. I’ll promise, God willing and if the creeks don’t rise, to spend a similar night with their children. I hope that they will always remember that night with fondness and pride.”—Ed Bangs, project leader for the environmental impact statement for wolf reintroduction to Yellowstone National Park and central Idaho, in his essay “Wolf Hysteria: Reintroducing Wolves to the West”
The truth is, goddesses are lousy in bed. They will do anything it’s true. And the skin is beautifully cared for. But they have no sense of it. They are all manner and amazing technique. I lie with them thinking of your foolish excess, of you panting and sweating, and your eyes after.
Maybe you’ve heard about this. Maybe not. A man came home and chucked his girlfriend’s cat In the wood chipper. This really happened. Dinner wasn’t ready on time. A lot Of other little things went wrong. He spat On her father, who came out when he learned About it. He also broke her pinky, Stole her checks, and got her sister pregnant. But she stood by him, stood strong, through it all, Because she loved him. She loved him, you see. She actually said that, and then she went And married him. She felt some unique call. Don’t try to understand what another Person means by love. Don’t even bother.